Becoming Something

There's an app for that

When I bought my iPhone in April I was profoundly sleep-drunk from being up most of the night on the phone. I wanted to buy it to have the GPS feature so I could drive someone around and was going to take a slightly convoluted scenic route to Banff (which I ended up not taking anyway).

I'd like to think that under different circumstances I would have been with it enough to know to wait for the latest version. And given all the unfair circumstances of late, I think I really deserve the latest version.

I very nearly almost cried reading about and looking at the new iPhone. It's so breathtaking. With the new stronger glass, I would not feel the need to ugly-up my phone with some dog hair-collecting silicone, overpriced Otterbox. And I would love the zooming video feature for school concerts, the LED light maybe making all the difference. I would definitely use the video chatting feature. How cool would that be while driving? Just put the phone in the dock that sits on the dash and it's like you have a passenger with you, albeit one who never gets your full attention because you're busy concentrating on passing all those slow-moving vehicles. Fun! (Okay, correction: It's called FaceTime because they can't actually call it video chatting because then you'd think it could work with other computers and it only works with iPhones. And it doesn't work with 3G so it won't work on the road. That sucks. Oh well. Still very useful.)

I think people are lying when they say they don't want an iPhone, just to be subversive. Or they don't really know what it does. It can do STREAMING video, people. So, if your spouse is at work or far away and your child does something really cool like walk for the first time or perform in a school play, you can stream the video to your spouse in real-time. If your spouse had an iPhone, that is.

I have already said to Jude that I wished he had an iPhone. I know anything else is too complicated for his Luddite nature (he likes to say "technopeasant"). He has a work-appointed Blackberry that we both hate. He only knows how to use it as a phone. I only know how to use it as a phone and barely. I wish he knew how to take photos in a store and send them to me so I could veto his purchases. I think he would really come to love his iPhone.

Naturally, that iPhone would be, erm, my iPhone. It would be a huge upgrade from his tiny-and-multi-function buttoned Blackberry, right?

This morning I started some subtle hinting as part of Project iPhone 4 Acquirement.

"Don't you wish you had my iPhone?"

"Um...."

"Don't you wish you had the ability to just bookmark every location of a store you like or a restaurant so you can instantly find your way there the next time and don't you wish you could easily jot down what you loved eating at the Indian restaurant so you could remember to order it again next time and don't you wish you could easily take photos of things in stores and email them to me so I could veto them and don't you wish you could easily take cool photos and don't you wish you could have access to our family calendar wherever you go?"

Jude: "I wish, for work purposes, I had a Bond-like feature to shoot tranquilizer darts at people."

Montana, 10-years-old: "There's an app for that."

Daily Gratitudes

1. Katie's well-timed belated Christmas/birthday box. I just realised that could sound sarcastic but I really meant that it was well timed. Came just when I needed it.
2. Katie's hilarious poem and email that gave me strength.
3. Getting rid of weird neighbors and gaining lovely neighbors with whom we can be friends.
4. My kids getting older.
5. The rain. I hate hot, hot weather. This cool climate is nice.

Possibly the most amazing present I've ever received

My friend Cherilyn, sent me a present for my birthday, belated. It arrived today. It's the most brilliant and creative thing I've seen in a while. Background: Cherilyn has a doctorate in history and used to draw and edit military maps for a living. And she fixes motorcycles, builds computers, is a judo champion, and she quilts impressively. She's pretty cool stuff.

The photos are lame because I took them with my iPhone because I was too impatient to get my camera.

   

It's called Natasha Insula: The Yle of Natasha. It is fashioned after an old Scottish map. 

The rivers are named for my children, with the largest one being my son and the littlest being my youngest daughter. The mountain is named after my husband. I have blanked out all their names, however.

On here we have (more photos below):

• Aspiration Bay -- which covers all my scholastic aspirations and other such goals
• Camp Creativity
• Æstuarium Analyticus -- because I'm an analytical person
• Beggar's End estate
• Tears' Retreat
• Blogger's Bog
• Hope Harbour -- although it's not spelled with a U
• Inspiration Inlet
• Book Nook estate
• Flight of Fancy -- where the windmill is, cute
• Reinvention Range
• Loch (Lake) Temple
• Loch Baptism
• Business Bend
• Pleasure Peak
• Poet's Corner castle
• Pen Haven
• Heart's Keep fortress
• Dreamy Draw river
• Unsettled Wood
• Plain of Joy
• Valley of Travail
• The Nunry
• Nature's Rest wood
• a sea monster

It's absolutely amazing. It's general enough to not become outdated. It's much more detailed and lovely than what the pictures depict. The ship has Canada flags, even though Canada technically didn't exist in the era after which the map was patterned. :-)

I cried.

It's a wonderful idea for a gift for someone. I would like to make some for my children.

I think Cherilyn should make these for a part-time gig but they would cost a few hundred, I'm guessing. If anyone is interested in commissioning something from her, email me.

 

 

 

 

 

   

   

 


 

 

 


Daily Gratitudes

1. My present and friendship with Cherilyn. She's a soft place to fall, tough when I need it and gentle the rest of the time. She's very analytical, happy to dissect issues and principles until there's nothing left to be said, helping me figure out what I believe in life.
2. I woke up with a pinched nerve in my back. The pain is now nearly gone so I can take the kids out later.
3. Meeting new people who are lovely for many reasons.
4. I can afford to frame Cherilyn's drawing/painting and I can afford nutritional supplements to help me with my allergies.
5. Vince made me laugh last night. Check it out. You'll have to click on it to make it big enough. He said it was an homage to this blog post. Hint: check out the green text. That's what I see when someone does a Google search in their browser toolbar while on my blog's page.

 

  

Should we encourage penmanship instruction in school?

A friend of mine went to school in Canada where handwriting instruction was given, but then moved back to her country where it was not taught or encouraged, and she lost the art. 

Yesterday I stumbled upon this letter to me from my friend Suzanna. (You can click on the photo to make it bigger.) I have never not drooled over her handwriting.  <whine> Why don't I write like this? </whine>

I've been told I have nice handwriting but I'm always comparing mine with Suzanna's, so mine never measures up.  Suzanna's writing is always consistent.  She doesn't have bad writing days.  I do.  (Actually, this IS her bad writing day.)  Her capital C's are always perfectly curved, her little S's are always the same and perfectly pointy, her little R's are perfection.  She doesn't have many extra lines coming in and off of letters.  Her writing is crisp and clean.  Mine is not.  

The thing is, Suzanna spent a lot of time practising her handwriting.  I know because we've discussed this.  Does anyone do that anymore?  

I've heard that some North American schools, like those in England, no longer include instruction on cursive handwriting.  Is your child's school one of them?

My son's school does still instruct on this. (I think.)  And my son is very interested in perfecting his handwriting, which pleases me, even though he may never send a thank you card to anyone. By the time he's grown, will people still send postcards?  Handwritten letters?  Christmas cards? If it can be made on a computer, will anyone ever think to make it by hand? 

People used to be hand-writers for a career.  If you really wanted to fancy something up, you'd hire a calligrapher.  Of course, they still exist, but then so do blacksmiths. 

Do people value nice handwriting anymore?  Is it a dumb, vain ambition to want to improve your handwriting?  Do people even consider it possible or do they just think of their handwriting like their fingerprints, like we're destined at birth to write a certain way?

Heber J. Grant, a late prophet of the LDS church, was teased in school for his handwriting.  He said, "These remarks, while not made to hurt my feelings but in goodnatured fun, neverhtheless cut deep, and aroused within me a spirit of determination.  I resolved to live to set copies for all who attended the university and to be the teacher of penmanship and bookkeeping in that institution... I commenced to employ my spare time in practicing penmanship, continuing year after year until I was referred to as 'the greatest scribbler on earth.'"  He later won first prize in a penmanship contest and did go on to teach it at what is now the University of Utah.  [Teachings of Presidents of the Church; Heber J. Grant; page xii]

His signature:

 
 
 Maybe I should start practising my handwriting.

Daily Gratitudes

1. Every now and then my sewing machine's tension stops working. Nothing I do to adjust it works. So, I set it aside for a few months and then when I go to use it again, it's all fixed. This has been happening for years.  It fixes itself. Or the elves come out at night. Either way, I'm grateful because I don't even know what any of the parts are called nevermind how to fix them.
2. Jude and I found some decent used furniture at an out-of-town shop, for our bare basement.  Three solid wood pieces: $150. 
3. I have not forgotten preschool today.  I have forgotten for weeks but not today.
4. It's been very sunny the past few days.  Glorious. 
5. I'm almost done making Christmas presents. Just have the kids left. Hooyah!

My shopping suggestions for earnest apparel

Been feeling pretty bleak lately.  Like, for the past... two years?  No, I'm kidding.  Just for the past month. Ish.  I purchased these t-shirts on Etsy when I was feeling bleak and I'm wearing the purple one now and it may sound stupid but the reminder that this mantra on a t-shirt provides helps me.  (Awkward sentence alert.  Don't expect me to care.)

As JQ said to me, they're very "earnest".  Well, yes.  So am I.

So, I wanted to show you my new earnest tees.  (Bad quality photos and in "mirror" because my PhotoBooth program on the Mac flips images and I don't yet know how to flip them back. So, I chose this special mirror option. And I'm too lazy to take photos with a camera.)

Don't Give Up shirt

Keep Calm and Carry On shirt

 

And I just like this XX chromosome shirt. 

 

The neck thing is a Necklush and it's best worn like so:

 

Here's what else I can do with my "mirror" option in PhotoBooth:

 

If that's not sexy, I don't know what you people want from me.  I mean, look how thin I look!

Daily Gratitudes

1. My replacement birth certificate arrived in only one day! Was going to take up to five days. I could potentially get my passport tomorrow. 
2. Jude came home briefly for lunch and is going to bring home a Booster Juice again for me.
3. Sushi for lunch.
4. @badbanana cheers me up.  He's aggressively witty. 
5. Oooh! Literally RIGHT NOW my package just arrived from my Burtons in Wales! Wheeee!

My fantasy wedding reception do-over

Okay, so I said that I would design a wedding reception do-over party on my blog. I didn't really mean I'd try to have a party on a blog. How the heck do you do that? I suppose you could sort of do that. But this is just my idea of what I would do.

Let me paint a picture for you:

It's September. The sun is out, the weather is cool and happy. We know that winter looms but we're too full of joy to feel intimidated by future bleakness. We feel powerful, ready to take on 6 months of Canadian zombie death.

We head off to some smashing reception venue like this:

[Vince's photo. Warning: If you weren't satisfied with your wedding or wedding photos, or satisfied with the country in which you live, do not click on that link. It will make you very jealous, even if you're not normally a jealous person at all. I mean, possibly. I wouldn't know from personal experience. I'm just guessing, really....]

I would have many more little white lights strung from the rafters than what you see in the above photo. Maybe even some brown kraft paper lanterns but I'd have to see it first to make sure it's not too much because I'd also be hanging these tissue paper pom poms (which I actually have hanging in Josie's room) in these muted shades except with the addition of a mossy green and maybe a robin's egg blue.

I'd have sun lanterns lining the perimetre of the room, just on the floor. 

 

Strung across the windows I'd have these paper leaf garlands, made from recycled printed paper, which I'd have my children make because they keep telling me how bored they are everyday and how easy is that?

And then, against the paper garland that's on the windows, I would have art hanging from all my friends, and maybe a couple pieces of my own. Photography, paintings, drawings, and poetry. They would hang on two wires going straight up with hooks, hanging from the window frame. And if my friends wanted to sell them, they could put a little note on their pieces. (Speaking of art, I think these prints are fantastic: Ex. 1, Ex. 2, Ex. 3, Ex. 4.)

On the tables I'd have rustic light brown linen table cloths. The centre vases would be ceramic or pottery:

[Click here to buy.]

 

[Click here to buy.]

And they'd be filled with paper flowers like these except multicoloured and I would let my closest friends take home a bouquet after.

I would rent a mish mash of lovely china or ideally pottery dishes and every table would be different.

I'd have a casual buffet of finger foods and desserts because this isn't really a wedding thing. It's just a party.

Food stuffs I like:

Salami and Asiago Pinwheels (easy and delish)
Artichoke Croustades (even more easy and common winner)
Antijitos with Basil Sour Cream Dip (Montana's restaurant-- ughmmmm)

For cake we'd have my favourite cake to make and one of the few I like to eat: Lemon Blueberry Buttermilk Cake with White Chocolate Cream Cheese Icing. SO CRAZY GOOD.  I'd have it decorated with sugared edible flowers. And Jude Law would jump out of the cake and I'd help him get that icing off. Sorry. It just fell off my imagination to my fingers.

For drinks we'd have Dry Soda in Cucumber, Juniper Berry, Kumquat, Rhubarb, Lemongrass and Lavender. And water. If you want to get loose and woozy, sorry, I don't think I'd have booze there. I would recommend you bring your own prescription drug cocktail or something.

And I'd have a stunning free-for-all candy buffet in glass apothecary jars.

I'd tell my guests to come casual dressy. I'd be wearing some worn jeans myself and probably a white tee with a fancy silk bolero:

I'd just wear my hair down and curled.

And I quite like these [super expensive] bracelets:

I'd probably wear some shoes like so

but not for long because who likes to dance in shoes?

Jude and I would dance to I Will by the Beatles (and I'd be taller than him in my 3-inch heels, which I confess I LOVE-- probably some control/power issue of mine):

And in my perfect world, I will have written Jude a song and have learned to play it on guitar and would sing it for him. Not that I'm a good singer. I considered actually recording myself singing a song to him but for a lot of reasons: nah.

Some slow songs I know I'd want to have:

Stick With Me Baby by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss-- just so pretty
Shelter by Ray Lamontagne-- sexy as heck
Pretty Flowers by Steve Martin, Vince Gill, Dolly Parton-- sweet, sweet
How Sweet it is to Be Loved By You by James Taylor-- a great classic
I Could Write a Book by Harry Connick, Jr. (this is Frank, though)-- Jude and I: we made two lovers of friends
Better Together by Jack Johnson-- one of my favourite songs ever-- feel good, sexy, great lyrics, relaxing

And some let's get jiggy wit' it songs:

A Little Respect by Erasure-- and the whole time I'd be thinking of this dude in red pumps and weird white women's undies
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham-- I don't know about you but this video reminds me of how shocked I was to find out George Michael was gay.
Friday I'm in Love by The Cure-- a great classic
Let's Get it Started by Black Eyed Peas (clean version)-- this song has kick started so many mornings for me
Mai Ai Hee (Dragostea Din Tei) by O-Zone-- awesome
Rainbowarriors by CocoRosie-- loose and cool

And seriously, Mike, no "moves" would be needed. As evidenced by this video Josie wanted to make with me. Blech. This would be the Grey's Anatomy just-jump-around-everywhere kind of dancing. Except on Grey's Anatomy, the women don't have tummies. Or maybe that's my shirt. I honestly can't tell. Anyone can jump around with spirit, surely.

And if anyone wanted to get up and tell a not-too-embarrassing story about Jude or I, that would be welcome and if anyone wanted us to kiss, they'd have to write a limerick. Remember, the formula is 8-8-5-5-8.

I wrote one for Jude:

There once was a cutie named Jude
Who was always in a good mood
You know just for what
The cheeseburger hut--
For meat he was never a prude.

 

(I started laughing when he grabbed my boob. But it's okay because we're already married.)

And if anyone wanted to get up and say something cool about marriage, a nice quote or poem, that would be nice.

But mostly we would just dance ourselves sweaty.

For party favours I'd give out copies of the Book of Mormon. Haha, just kidding. But I might have a stack somewhere, free for the taking. No, for favours I'd have a tree in the room and hanging from the tree branches would be cute little paper and ribbon bags with maple sugar soft candies in them.

That would be my party.  And it would probably be the happiest day of my life to have all my favourite people there. But there'd be no kids allowed except for mine and only briefly. 

Wish it was real. *sigh* ;-)

Daily Gratitudes

1. Bike riding and playing "soccer" with the kids tonight for Family Home Evening.
2. My Burtons got my our package on the day they were supposed to and found someone to rent their house.
3. Blog readers who like to have conversations in comments. Fun for me. It's all about me.
4. New friends.
5. The weather is no longer sweltering.

(I just want you to know...)

(...as I'm looking for imaginary wedding reception stuff, that I'd never do this to myself.)

(And I told you so you could respect me more.)

(Don't we both feel better now?)

N.

Scrapbooking: It's all Satan's fault

I am Mormon and a mother and 29 and I don't scrapbook. This is apparently remarkable. You know  scrapbooking has taken over a segment of society when the word becomes a VERB.

I used to scrapbook. Sort of. I have an album I made for Montana when he was a baby because a woman at church bought me a kit as my baby present and of course I was a new mom of a baby so I had nothing to do. It's hideous. An embarrassment to die cuts, paper, and stickers everywhere. That's all that existed back then, really. There were no cool eyelets and clothing tags and human bones in the shape of hearts. What's that? There are still no human bones in the shape of hearts, you say? Wait a month. Provo Craft is working on it.

My first and main gripe with scrapbooking is that it's got out of hand. When a woman shows her scrapbook to another woman, she does so in the hopes that her scrapbooking skills will be lauded. The photos are secondary. "Oooh, I like what you did here!" "Where did you get the clothing from genuine African refugees that were fashioned into pleated photo frames?!" Who would even notice the photos after layers and layers of decoration? And don't pretend that you didn't take that photo just because it went with your stickers.

My second gripe with scrapbooking is that it's indulgent. Costly. I bet that some women spend thousands a year on scrapbooking. And they'll say that it's a good cause because "it's journaling!" So is blogging, and it's free. I predict that in the next five years, people will be able to buy insurance for their scrapbooks. You could travel for that same amount of money!

My third gripe is that I could learn a new language or teach my dog to cha-cha in the time I could spend scrapbooking. Think of all the time you scrapbookers could spend doing something really important, like blogging.  And what kind of mother would I be if, when I die, I didn't leave my children a disorganised photo mess both on and offline to help distract them from their grief?

My fourth gripe is that it's freakin' messy. Entire rooms are devoted to scrapbooking. They're often called "craft rooms" but it's all scrapbooking stuff spread out everywhere. And that's if families are lucky. Some families have to pick paper corner snips out of their dinner and pretend that the glitter in their hair that somehow found its way into the basement bathroom is deliberate accessorising.

You will not be able to take your scrapbook with you when you die, nor will your kids. Sure, you're leaving it for your great-grandkids, who, by then, will have all photos and information uploaded to the Facebook chip that's burrowed in their brains, except that you're not really going to have great-grandkids because everyone knows that the Savior is coming soon. Okay, then there's the Millenium. But after those 1000 years, the scrapbooks are defunct. You'll have to rely on your perfect, resurrected memories.

And that's what I'm waiting for. Who says I'm impatient? 

[All photos stolen from a Google Image search which I will keep up until the unlikely event occurs that the owners of the photos ask me to take them down because I didn't ask for permission to use them because what was I going to say-- "Can I use this photo in a blog post that mocks scrapbooking? NO? Why not?"?]

Daily Gratitudes

1. Mike cared enough to leave a nice comment, even though I make him shake his head and roll his eyes and he's sooooo glad that we're not related in any way. ;-) Said comment made my day. Or my next couple of hours. We'll see. The day still looms.
2. Another sunny day.
3. I'm still not depressed again.
4. I have these iPod earbuds that look so trashed. The wires are exposed at the bottom, where it plugs in to the unit and the sheathing is snipped further up along the cord and the rubber that goes around the buds is off... but they still work fine. Maybe not for long, but these are the GOOD earbuds because our other ones only have one working side since I dropped the other side in the bath. Interestingly, if you drop one in maple syrup, while eating Sunday breakfast in bed, just lick it off and you'll be fine.
5. Electricity.

Art to cry to

I'm just now watching last night's So You Think You Can Dance?

I dislike the name of the show. It's too long and it's just... dumb. That was really the best name they could come up with? It makes it sound like just another commercial dance competition show like Dancing With The Stars when really, it displays some of the most incredible artistry I can ever imagine being created.

The Bollywood dance made my mouth drop open. The darling, lithe ex-gymnast girl made me want to worship at her feet, telling her that she's the most incredible dancer in the world. She's probably NOT the most incredible dancer in the world and I've probably seen things as mesmerizing but this dance caused me to forget them. This video doesn't convey like HDTV does.

The crash test dummies dance was so artistic and, I would imagine, difficult to execute. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a video.

I could watch stuff like this all day and lose myself in it.  And it makes me wonder why we don't see more of this kind of bodily art on display.  Where can I go to see this? Does anyone know? 

Does it sound like I'm at a loss for words? Because I am. I am verklempt and yearning for such ability for self-expression.

Daily Gratitudes

1. Fresh cherries.
2. Fresh salsa.
3. Longer days.
4. Gushy love feelings for people.
5. I had a brief break from the kids. Went to the library to look at art, then to read. The reading made me want to write poetry. But I didn't.

My new lovely love

Pretend it's not the Sabbath day while I wax emphatic on all things non-spiritual for a minute, 'kay?  Just kidding. Don't pretend that. Maybe put some Mormon Channel radio on in the background while reading this post I wrote a few days ago but put up now because the one I wrote TODAY is even less spiritual because it's just a collection of funny, irreverent things people have said on Twitter and I'll be posting it tomorrow. Ah, I love run-on sentences.

All I can think of to say involves my new iMac, 24" screen, wall-mounted. Everything about it is so stunning I could cry. It's a work of art. 

And it's so intelligent. Just about everything is intuitive-- the way I'd make it if I were so lucky-- and brainy.  It walked me through everything as soon as I turned it on, even telling me to put batteries in the mouse.

The iCal calendar is brilliant. It's near perfection: only what I need and nothing more. It has the colour coding I want for my family members. I can attach files to the notes, if I need to, which could come in handy with Scouts Group Committee. All the files on the computer can be colour-coded to correspond to different family members, making them easier to find. The calender has a search option. And it's so clean and crisp.

Some of you know that I have an interest in marketing. I don't think a company does a better branding job than Apple. Even their manuals are cool and minimalist: only the info you want, explained in a way you can easily understand. I have one manual titled "Everything Mac" and one titled "Everything else". Love it. Why be boring when you can add a little bit of personality? The packaging is iconic-- it looks and even feels like luxury: smooth, the way I like my book covers. 

I have no idea what Apple's company motto is but I would choose the word "ease". I can phone customer support for any silly question, get a human right away (who speaks with an accent I can understand), and receive help. Can anyone get that kind of service for their PC from the company that made it? Just about everything works as easily as it could. The tutorial videos are excellent. Everything is drag and drop. Don't want a file on your computer? Just drag and drop it into the trash bin.

The keyboard is wireless and sleek. I can put it and the wireless mouse up out of reach of the kids and dog. The keys even feel good to the touch. Clickity-click. Matte.

And GarageBand! I may check #1 off of my Life To-Do list after all. Garage Band can teach me how to play guitar. Free, pre-installed on my computer. That sure beats Solitaire.

And look at what we can do, in seconds, with PhotoBooth!

 

 

 

 What's your favourite thing about a Mac? What should I check out?

Daily Gratitudes

1. Silence.
2. Being alone.
3. Jude's sense of humour.
4. Josie made supper.
5. Apologies are nice, both ways.

Making up for parental guilt via belated Valentines Martha Stewartness

I strive to make birthdays and other holiday-type events special so that my kids will forget about my Parental Failure Ranking years from now.  Surely, birthdays and Christmas and Valentine’s day are what will stick in their memories.  Right? 

I felt bad for how emotionally neglectful I’ve been lately, how impatient, how depressed, etc. so I tried to make Valentine’s day special with an oozy, pink- and red-themed, Martha-ish commercial breakfast, including this cool cake I was going to make, but on Friday our puppy was really sick (potentially dying) and I had no energy for such girly plans. 

Saturday?  The day after I tempted God to test my faith via malaria or airborn HIV?  Our 1-year-old LG Tromm washing machine flooded the laundry room.  And while the floor is tiled with slate, the water must have soaked through the mortar.  No, it must have seeped under the baseboard.  Because it flooded our furnace in the utility room below, as well as the games closet and stained the ceiling in the basement bathroom.  It sure didn’t take long for the water to get downstairs, either. 

The furnace repair dude said that the thingy was flooded and that if it had sparked one more time, water would have been pumped into another thingy and it would have fried the motherboard, killing our 1-year-old high efficiency furnace.  Those were his exact words.  So, I suppose we’re blessed or something because I'd hate to buy another one of those or go through insurance. 

 

$900 for the dog’s vet bill.

$300 for the furnace bill. 

There goes my solitary getaway.  That’s okay.  I don’t want to risk approaching idolatry by treasuring my sanity TOO much.  (Not that I had $1200 to spend on a getaway, either.)

So, today, on Family Day, or President’s Day for you cute American folk, we celebrated Valentine’s day.   It’s a nice feeling to be able to move holidays around like that.  I AM the rebellious sort, with control issues, but then you probably knew that. 

Roses purchased for me a few days ago, by Jude.  Lollipop made by me. Only one that barely turned out. 

You can’t really telll from here but that’s a stack of pancakes.

Um, this did not turn out. The eggs were supposed to look like hearts. And you know the turkey bacon is shaped into hearts, right? Right? Ugh. 

The valentine I made for Jude.  Message written on back.  He loved it.

See that cake? It was supposed to have a heart inside but it doesn’t even look like that AND it’s upside down.  So disappointing.

I did not ask Lulu to do that. She’s just THAT perfect.

Those pretty doilies inspired me to make crowns.

Daisy wanted me to take a photo of her “Bard” wearing her crown.

Josie made this stunning piece.  (I blanked out the names of the kids.)  She used construction paper and scotch tape (because we had no glue).  It’s much nicer in person. See the crazy carpet? We went sledding today with our crazy carpets.  Below she has written “A family is forever.”

We’re going to have it framed.

And here’s what the rest of the kitchen looks like, just so you don't think I did all that AND managed to not make a mess. Can you tell that hoard of junk is about 2 feet high?  Dishes are piled behind the pile of junk.

And here’s the living room.

That basket of socks that needs matching has been there for at least a week.  No, two.  The clutter on the table is one of my biggest pet peeves. But nothing compares to my cabinet doors that are still missing from my bookshelves, after living here one year.  I hate my home builder. 

Daily Gratitudes

1. Jude was right:  It hurts less when you slide on your belly.  I would have had more fun if I trusted him earlier.
2. Jude made Marry Me Chicken tonight.
3. Good music.
4. Excellent writing to read and aspire to.
5. Night photography. I just really like it.

My kids' ridiculous letter to Santa. Also, our artsy Christmas spoils.

On Christmas Eve, my kids wrote this funny and ridiculous letter to Santa.  I wrote the reply, a little messier than usual so they wouldn't recognize my handwriting. And that's the signature I use every year for Santa.

It reads:

Dear Santa Claus,

Merry Christmas!  My name is Josie. [Age 7.] Montana, Daisy and Lulu want to tell you what they want for Christmas.  Here is Montana.

Hello there! This is Montana. [Age 8.99]  Can I pull your beard?  (Just kidding.)  Now, what I want 4 yule is an air ticket for three (Mom, Dad & me) to London England.  Here’s Daisy.

Hi. I’m Daisy.  [Age 5.] I want pink bunny slippers for Christmas.  Here is Lulu.  [Age 3.] (Other side.)

Hi. I want a stuffy elephant for Christmas. Here is Josie.

Hi, I’m Josie (again).  Can I come see you, and pull your suit off? (Just kidding.)  For Christmas may I please have a house with everything?  Good-bye Santa Claus.

P.S. I hope you like your milk and cookies.

Here is Santa’s response:

Sigh. I do make the best cookies. ;-p

The kids got a kick out of the letter. The two oldest know that Santa is not real because I told them last year.  I’m not about to try to convince them for as long as I can that Santa is real. Not when I want them to believe that GOD is real.  Avoiding tangent….

I just could not get into the spirit this year.  So many reasons.  I’m glad it’s all over.  I’m so exhausted and feel sick AGAIN.  Tired of feeling sick.

On Christmas Eve, despite not feeling the least bit festive, I made these stuffed thingies for the girls from an old Gap sweater that got shrunk.  I was going to make them pigs but I had no way to enlarge the pattern. No photocopier that will do that, here.  So, then I was going to make initials.  But after the one A (for Josie’s real name) I decided to just make hearts for Daisy and Lulu instead of another A and an E.  But I added faces to make them extra special.

I purchased two of these lovely handmade dream catchers/mobiles for my girls’ rooms.  This photo is taken from the artisan’s Etsy shop.

And I got this beautiful watercolour painting from Jude. We went to our local art gallery a few weeks ago and this is one of the two paintings we both liked a lot.   It’s not the best photo because I didn’t take it in natural light.  I took it this evening with only artificial lighting available.   In real life there is more variance of colour.  Do you see the trees and the two figures walking?

I don’t like the cheapo framing job that came with the painting and will eventually reframe it with a black frame and non-reflective glass.  I had two temple art photos framed recently with non-reflective glass (they were going in a bathroom where only artificial light would bounce all over the glass) and it makes a huge difference. It looks like there’s no glass at all.

Montana got this stocking stuffer.  Its eyes pop out when you squeeze its belly and Daisy got a huge kick out of it, mimicking the toy all day.

Daily Gratitudes

1. My turkey is still melt-in-your-mouth moist even after microwaving it for reheating. Yes, I am bragging. It barely needs chewing, it’s so moist and I’m not exaggerating.
2. We got a new foosball table from the in-laws.  Now I can be beaten to a pulp in more games by more men! Yay!  If Brett plays Bowling Buddies on Facebook with his non-dominant hand, I swear I could probably beat him.
3. Jude has this week off of work.  Really, this should be #1 but I’m too tired and lazy to change it.
4. I have a warm, safe house.
5. We seem to be the only area in Canada and the US not being pummeled with feet of snow.

WTHeck is up with the stuff on my bathroom counter?

So, Jude and I were brushing our teeth the other night when he said in this I-just-had-a-casual-musing sort of voice,  "You know, some of these things just don't seem like they belong."

I glance down and this is what I see:

 

“Why is there a paint brush here?” he asks, bemused.

“Uh…,” I answer.

The answer is because I’m lazy.  And tired much of the time.  And distracted.  That paint brush doesn’t even work anymore.  I thought I washed it out well enough but it’s stiff with paint.

Here’s a breakdown:

A – The paint brush I used to cut in when painting Josie’s new room.  (Photos to come some day.)

B – A Polly Pocket doll that Lulu dropped into the can of paint.  Thank you for that.

C – A glass goldfish or something magnet that should be on the fridge. I have no idea why it’s on this counter.

D – You can’t really tell but that is a roll of dimes.  ??  It’s the allowance money. Dimes are easy to split into: Tithing, Savings, Invest, Spending.  WHY it’s on the bathroom counter I have no idea.

E – Money I dumped out from Lulu’s back pocket.  She has more cash than me.  (That gold coin is our pretty Canadian “loonie” or one dollar coin.  For you Americans who don’t get out much.)

F – A plastic Jasmine (part of the Disney mind melt conspiracy), a plastic Barbie shoe, and a plastic animal of some sort, all dumped from her back pocket.  That must have been one uncomfortable 3-year old heiny.

G – A rechargeable-by-shaking flashlight.  I can’t even to venture to guess why it’s there.

H- A coupons magnet stuck to the flashlight. It should be on the fridge.  People, WHY isn’t it on the fridge??

I – My engagement and wedding rings, removed because I’m getting little blisters underneath.  I tell Jude that my finger is rejecting our marriage.  It’s like having a crystal ball between my pinkie and middle finger.  It must mean I’m not getting enough foot massages and breakfast in bed.  Once a week is not enough, Jude!

J – A pink crystal glass knob I bought for Lulu and Daisy’s closet door that doesn’t fit.  Logically, I’d store it here indefinitely.

K – A drawing by a child. I don’t even know who.  Does it matter?  You and I both know I’m going to throw it away.  I’m just not that sentimental.

L - A dumb headband that looks dumb that I don’t even wear. I don’t use all those bobby pins either.  ?

M – All hail the mighty Zoloft that has kept me alive.  And aren’t you glad?

N – Lulu’s toothbrush.  Cute, huh?

So, I don’t really know why I showed that to you.  I just thought it was a funny collection of stuff but really, I’m too tired to make anything really comedic out of it.  Usually this counter is free of almost everything but the marble cup and container and a soap dish.

Daily Gratitudes

1. Caffeine.  It’s the only thing that kept me awake today, even after 13 hours of sleep.  I was crying this morning I was so tired.  I may have mono.  Or cancer.  I’ll probably be dead by Friday.
2. JQ for bringing a Christmas ornament by a couple of days ago.  The only thing better than collecting ornaments just because they’re pretty is collecting them from people you love.  I like to look at my tree and think of people in my life.
3. Jude took the girls to the office today so I could work on some university assignments.  The silence was so beautiful.
4. Clean, warm clothes.
5. This morning’s sunrise (which was more purple in person):

In memory of my friend Cathy's stillborn son Callum.

One of my most favourite people in the world is Cathy Patterson.  Cathy is funny, strong, moral, ambitious, intelligent, warm, and pretty non-judgmental.  I used to consider Cathy my best friend.  We spoke many times a day, about our businesses, about our kids, about Grey's Anatomy-- important stuff.

Then, last Halloween she phoned with devastating news I somehow already knew (I'll never understand how I knew and it haunts me):  her boy Callum had died at more than 8 months gestation.  And the next day, November 1st, Cathy birthed Callum, her stunningly beautiful newborn who would never feel her kiss.

The pain and depression I experienced for her was so bad that it horrifies my soul and my heart to know it was nothing compared to what she has endured for one year, with no answers.  No clue as to how this happened, after tests and soul-searching.

Cathy and I have not talked much this year.  I would read her blog and then leave comments from my heart, with the best of intentions that sometimes came up way short of "getting it".  She didn't need me and my misunderstandings.  She needed women who knew exactly how she felt.  She found wonderful, much-needed support through blogging.  NO ONE SHOULD SAY THAT THESE ONLINE FRIENDSHIPS WE FORM ARE NOT "REAL".  They are real for me, real for Cathy and they can be anyone's daily salvation, if necessary.

We emailed occasionally.  I phoned a few times and she didn't pick up.

Then a couple of days after school started, Lulu was playing with the phone.  I heard a "Hello?"  I pulled the phone out of Lulu's hands and said hello back.  "Who is this?" I asked.  "Cathy," she said.  My mind raced.  I had just finished posting something on my blog about being sexually abused as a kid and the real name of my aunt in the post is "Cathy".  I was afraid my mom read my blog and then contacted Cathy about it and she had phoned me.  And as ridiculously unlikely as that was, I guess I thought it was more likely than Cathy answering her phone! :-) 

In order to phone her, Lulu had to press the address button, then scroll down to Cathy's number, then press Talk.  Someone please explain to me how that happened because it sounds impossible to me.

Cathy answered.  My dear Cathy.

It was wonderful to talk to her again.  Surreal that one year has gone by already.  It's been so hard on her and I've been unable to do nothing to help which I find more frustrating than I can possibly describe.

Now, Cathy is trying to do something to help this cause of stillbirth research. Hardly anything is done to find out why babies die for no apparent reason in utero.  So much money has been put into figuring out the causes of SIDS but more babies die from stillbirth.  It makes me wonder:  Are babies valued more after they get to live for a bit?  I hope not because that would be ridiculous.  Moms know the babies they grow.

Cathy had a fantastic sling business.  (Yes, that's me on the home page.) She made, I dare say, the best slings on the market:  very stylish, very thick and solid, very practical.  But in the aftermath of her loss, she was unable or unwilling to maintain the business herself.  She gifted it to the loving and very capable hands of Cheryl.

Cheryl is making a beautiful, sophisticated sling and donating all proceeds to stillbirth research in Callum's name.  It's so generous of Cheryl, a busy mom to donate her time like that.

If you've been looking for a baby sling for wearing your baby or you need a baby shower gift, please consider this sling.

My dear friend Cathy is agnostic, but I'm not.  I ask for your prayers on her behalf.  Please pray for answers, hope, and peace for her and her family. 

I did not link to her blog because I worry that my readers might try to offer her religious explanations or-- Heaven forbid-- say something like, "He's in a better place" as if being with his mom would not be best?  If not, why have any of us lived?

I don't know any readers who would say or do that but I can't say I know everyone who doesn't comment.

And if anyone hurt Cathy, I'd have to verbally kick their guts.

Daily Gratitudes

1. I'm married to a dog man with a big heart.
2. I've never lost a child although I almost wish I had so I could really be there for Cathy.
3. Halloween is over.
4. Sleeping in.
5. My friend Mary for babysitting my kids today so we could surprise them with a dog.

50 links for you to check out and enjoy to honour this blog's 50 deeply resonnating, self-important posts.

Wow.  My stats really drop when I don't post and have Facebook's Blog RSS app parse my post.  Hi, Facebook friend lurkers! I love you.  You're so cute and technologically advanced. (Pssst. Don't tell my mom.)

Alright, so this is my 50th post since starting this blog about 6 weeks ago.  Holy canoli. I have deep emotional issues.  Which has nothing to do with the frequency of blog posts. I'm just saying I have deep emotional issues.  Am now accepting financial donations to pay for all the convenience dinner meals because I'm too bowled over with psychic angst to prepare on my own.  Worthy cause, People.

Okay, I'll let you think on it.

Here are 50 links to cool products, funny blog posts by people way funnier than myself, information I think you could use to live a better/more ethical/whatever life. Very little of that latter stuff, though. Mostly this is frivolous. 

THINK a moment on how tedious it is to think of and link to 50 web pages.  Ya.  Exactly.  So, clearly, I love you and you should feel warm and fuzzy inside.  Because I really don't feel like doing this but I thought it would be a good idea and maybe appreciated by people who have good taste. ;-P  <---That's a winking face that is teasingly sticking out her tongue, for those of you not up on your emoticons.  See! I'm blessing your life already, for free.  Again I mention the Eliminate Dinnertime Angst Donation Fund.

1. THE funniest Dooce post ever, if you don't mind laughing at farting.   
2. Real transformation stories on Bodybuilding.com.  Not plugging any product, just regular people who worked their butts off, literally.  EXTREMELY inspiring.
3. This is apparently a "hat".  I thought it was so funny that you'd want to know about it.  The deer IS very cute and if she made it, I'm really impressed.  But come on.  There's "artsy/subversive" and then there's a little something called "trying too hard to let you know I'm so much more artsy and subversive than you and I pride myself on your gawking/judging because it defines me". 
4. Ever wondered how to build your own solar panel?  Me neither.  I feel empowered now just having the option.
5. We have this cute, funny print in our basement bathroom which has a children's theme.
6. Ever see that cool vinyl wall art stuff but never find anything that's really gorgeous with enough design-talent to go on YOUR wall?  EllyNelly has the nicest wall art I've ever seen.  We have the Hedgerow print in red on our stair landing wall.  I'd really like to add this Fine and Dandy print to our house somewhere.
7. Speaking of vinyl wall art, this company started the whole wall quote trend.  I love the website.  There's an album of after photos submitted from customers that provides inspiration. They also offer great quote ideas.  I have yet to get anything for my walls (from Canadian suppliers who can do the same thing) because HOW do you settle upon ONE or TWO quotes?  If you had to put ONE quote on your wall, what would it be?  (Let me know in the comments section.)
8. What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard of?  I bet I can top it.  Oh, I bet I ca-an!  Seriously, 20 bucks.  Ready?  Extreme ironing.  Jude and I saw a thing on tv about it years ago and we've never been able to forget.  How do you forget something this dumb?  I mean, extreme sports I get. But why do ironing while you're at it?  Because you have an ironic sense of humour? (Ha!)  Because Martha Stewart put a hex on you?  Because you're just THAT good of a homemaker??  You tryin' to make me feel bad?  It's the dumbest thing I've seen to date.  I can't believe it even has a name.  Oh, and I'll accept PayPal.
9. Have you heard of the Dripstik yet?  My friend Mecinna Price, a mom of five kids,  invented this brilliant device for kids (and moms' sanity) and you may have seen her on The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch.  Took a little idea and turned it into a million dollar product, doing most of the work herself.  Very inspiring.
10. Rusty made me laugh with this recent post about gift cards and greeting cards.  I totally agree with everything he said.  Except that I don't mind getting a gift card and they are better for the environment as presents.  I've suggested to my daughters' friends' parents that they get a gift card to any place of their choice as birthday presents.  My reasoning I gave was that we have enough toys and things already and not enough room for them.  I said just a $5 gift card to Tim Horton's or something would be an EXPERIENCE that my kids would really appreciate.  I'd like to start spending money on experiences for them instead of random stuff that is packaged in a ton of garbage.  (You should have seen the pile I had when I unwrapped our lesbian Barbies recently.)  Anyway, as for Rusty, he has a wacky sense of humour that I really appreciate.
11. This Nifty Kids Stuff shop has a lousy name for such an amazing shop.  "Nifty"?  Wha?  This stuff is AWESOME.  Outrageously so.  A tea set made of colourful felt?  The felt cake decorating set is so wonderfully made and beautiful.  I love the idea of buying handmade toys for my kids from a mom instead of from Toys R Us.  I love the personal interaction between the seller and I. I love the lack of excess packaging when it comes in the mail.  (And I adore getting stuff in the mail!)  I love the ease of shopping online.  I love that the toys are so artsy and heirloomy.  AND I love that it requires the use of imagination, like when I was a kid and made Barbie furniture out of shoulder pads.  My only wish is that the seller would use bamboo fibres as stuffing like some felt food makers on Etsy.
12. If anyone wants to buy this scarf-ish thing for me, I'll make you famous a la The Jolly Porter.  Can't you imagine wearing that work of art at the opera or something?
13. Speaking of fashion, I love this Etsy fashion designer.  Check out her feedback to see great sold items you could commission.  This is my favourite item in her store right now.
14. But this Etsy fashion designer is my favourite.  Love this shirt.  And this jacket even though it's toile.
15. If you know someone looking for babywearing slings, this store makes the best ones. Double-layered, really thick and solid, really comfy and really posh.
16. I've talked about the brilliant, warm, funny Garrison Keillor before and his radio program Prairie Home Companion.  I've said that I could never have married anyone who didn't love it...
17. ...but did you know that there's sort of a Canadian Garrison Keillor who's also very funny and a wonderful story teller?  His name is Stuart McClean and he hosts The Vinyl Cafe which we almost never hear because it's on while we're at church.  I'm excited that the show is now on podcast!!  You have got to find the story of when Dave cooks the Christmas turkey.  No matter how fantastic your life is, it's not as enjoyable as it could be if you don't have Garrison and Stuart in your life.
18. Speaking of cool radio shows, another that you might enjoy is Age of Persuassion by Terry O'Reilly.  I try not to miss it on Saturday mornings.  A very entertaining discussion of advertising and marketing.  No, really. It's entertaining.  He has a great radio voice, too.
19. I love motion blur photography. If you like photos, you'll like these.
20. If you have a "how do I?" question, try taking it to eHow.com .  If you want some entertaining reading while you're there, try Audie Metcalf.  Click on the number beside the categories in the right hand corner to read her funny articles.  Anyone can write for eHow and apparently there's some way to get paid for it....
21. I just like this radio show host defending Mormons.  This ex-Mormon "uh" "kind of" sounds like a knob. 
22. Boom dee ah da boom dee ah da.  This is a great video from Discovery Channel.
23. People freakin' on The Book of Mormon.  Could be better but kind of funny.
24. Sarah Haskins is so funny.  I love all her Target Women videos.  Here's one on chick flicks.  Oh, and Colin Firth?  Okay.
25. Then there's this edition on yogurt.  I think this one is better.  And I don't relate to the yogurt thing. What's so great about yogurt?  It's NOT filling. You can't even chew it.  GUM you can chew and it's not even a food. Does ANYONE out there ever CRAVE yogurt?  Are you ever just itching to sink your tongue into some yogurt?  I'm never going to get over this.  Gimmee a burger.
26. This is a great site for free fonts.  Not cluttered with a bunch of ads and spammy links.
27. Ever want to make a unique shirt or other clothing item for someone?  Splash your kid's photo on it or something equally corny and overdone but still appreciated because what spouse doesn't love an item with their kid's head on it?  Zazzle is your man/woman.  It's free, unlike that Cafepress, and they have better items and an easier interface.
28. Don't like scrapbooking but want to make a nice album, easily and far cheaper?  Check out Picaboo.  I have a couple of their albums and they're great.  Now, I'm only 24 albums behind my documenting.
29. With the food shortages in the world and more to come, this is cool.
30. Tastespotting!  Man, I wish I would have thought of this idea.  It's so simple and brilliant.  Easy way to get content because bloggers are happy to provide it in turn for a link to their blogs. (I got 600 hits in one day.)  It's a wonderful way to look for recipes when you're so sick of cooking and don't know what to make.  The gorgeous photos will inspire you.  Make a profile and then you can favourite your recipes.  You can search for terms or just browse through the pages aimlessly.
31. Airset is kinda cool. Helps you manage your schedules, life, etc. online.  Everyone in the family can update it and stay synced.
32. Memo To Me is cool if you like to have reminders emailed to you.  Like that piano lesson that's at an irregular time next Tuesday... I should add that to Memo To Me.  I kind of check my email a lot.  So, this works for me.
33. My friend Katherine showed me these next two links.  I started to cry when I saw the white and green "wedding cake" and read the post that went with it.  Cakes gone horribly wrong.
34. And as someone who loathes spelling and grammatical errors and edits her posts indefinitely, I love "this" blog.  (Hee hee.)
35. I want an excuse to buy these.  They don't really fit in with my house decor anywhere....  I wish they did.
36. For when your outfit is in desperate need of a bacon scarf but no bacon scarfs are to be found.  Don't tell me you've heard those two words together before because, unless you're on my Facebook friends list and you check out my Posted Items... I won't believe you.
37. My friend Pam makes adorable clothes for kids and is going to be branching out to adult items (right, Pam?!).  This is my favourite shirt of hers, I think.
38. This is dumb but very, very funny to me.  The more you read it, the funnier it seems.
39. Many of you have probably seen this.  It's worth linking to, for sure.  So many good, important things to think about.
40. If you've ever worked retail, or possibly any job dealing with people, you know the customer is not always right.
41. Have you heard of Stuff White People Like yet?  It's so funny and often so true.  Then I read this.  Note my photo above. Ha, ha! (I've never been very popular, though.  In high school I was someone who was just on friendly terms with everyone but mostly liked to be alone.)  Here's the master list. 
42. I love Maria Carluccio's art for children. 
43. I love these.  They're similar (same?) as what can be found on some WryBaby.com products.
44. Christine Lavin is one of my favourite singers.  Jude introduced me to her.  Her guitar tunes are predictable because after a while, they start to sound a bit alike.  But she makes me happy.  This song is very funny.  My favourite line: "You thought I didn't have a temper. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha SURPRISE"!  Jude's fave:  "But I really don't want to see you dismembered by the marijuana sniffing dogs... when a simple little nipping would suffice."  Also love the tune Bald Headed Men.
45. This is probably the most beautiful child's toque (translation for American friends: winter hat) I've ever seen.
46. Which reminds me of Padraig Cottage.  They have the best slippers ever for every member of your family.  Wool with sheepskin on the inside and so, so beautiful.  I want a new pair for Christmas because I wore mine out.  Clearly inappropriate if you're vegetarian. 
47. If you're curious to know what the LDS church does for humanitarian aid you can gain some understanding at this site.  100% of the money given to the church for humanitarian aid, and much of our tithing, goes to aid.  It bums me out that there isn't a big list of what the church did last year. I heard it somewhere and it blew my mind. Even as a member, I had no idea we did that much because the church is quiet about it.  In the twelve years I've been a member I've heard very little.
48. I'm crazy for letterpress.  I love the texture.  This shop has nice texture in their work.  I have this windmill print from another shop in our childish bathroom, too.  I love windmills.  They remind me of Holland. I'd like to go to Holland....
49. Okay, this woman is insanely talented.  She mostly sells patterns to her crocheted play food but sometimes she sells items. We have a crocheted banana split from her.  It's just remarkable what she does.  This pizza is so cool.
50. I thought you might like to see inside the sacred Salt Lake City LDS temple.  You can't go inside unless you have a temple recommend.  I've never been to Utah myself and would love to visit the Salt Lake temple.  It took 40 years to build by hand.  Many members volunteered to build it, sacrificing very much.  It's a beautiful building!

(This post is going to get my crazy search terms when I go look at my web stats.  Someone has already found my blog by searching "toilet water soup" or something like that.  Weird!)

Totally cool low-impact hobbit house.

Jude and I have a dream to build a self-sustaining eco-home, on a piece of land very near to town but large enough to plant a lot of fruit trees, grow a big garden, have a couple of dogs, some chickens and maybe some sheep.  Probably sheep.  Which might mean I'll have to learn how to stick my hand up sheep v@gin@ to help birth a lamb.  I don't know.  I sure hope not.

It would be very expensive to build the home we want to build and after building a spec house already I know what a hassle it is to build.

Then my friend Katie sent me this.

It got me thinking. 

Check out the Family Perspective page.  It's a fascinating read.  Beautiful family.

This one is way too small for us but we could build a similar home, maybe even ourselves, and save a whack of money on our mortgage and spend all of our extra money on travel and helping people.

Then I think, maybe this would just be suitable for a cottage.  And I would decorate it a la Anna Maria Horner.

(Yes, John, I edited this. Ha.)