We may not agree on the purpose of life but we can all agree on one thing: Whatever the hell we’re doing here, we’re always becoming something. Hopefully something wiser, happier, more whole, more talented and woke than before.

Becoming Something is an agnostic, superstitious-free blog about making the best of what we do know about life: We exist and we want to experience more joy and less pain. Self-improvement and world-improvement is the way to do that. This blog is about goal-achieving, perseverance, and adventure. It’s about going at life rogue, from a different angle. It’s about short cuts. It’s about practicing gratitude, acceptance, and social justice. It’s about making and noticing beautiful things, creating lives that make us excited and that inspire the people around us. It’s about letting your freak flag fly.

Some questions I’d like to explore:

  • Where should personal responsibility end and societal responsibility begin and vice versa?
  • How can we create communities for ourselves that feel tailor-made?
  • How can we be ourselves with friends and family and even acquaintances to a degree, be imperfect, and still feel deeply worthy?
  • How can we develop new skills, and how do we approach the obstacles in our way, overcoming when things get hard?
  • How can we hack our own flaws and work around them?
  • How can we make our own art beautifully and cheaply?
  • How can we heal from trauma?
  • How do we learn how to do a thing when we don’t know what we don’t know?
  • To whom can we look for inspiration, someone who didn’t get where they got because their parents or spouses were wealthy, or because they were born especially talented or exquisitely beautiful (or swimming in white straight male privilege)?
  • What is it really like down at rock bottom and how does one climb out?

(Do you know someone inspiring? Are you inspiring? Please contact me.)

Who am I?

Hey! I’m Natasha. I am a writer, artist, communications professional, and lesbian mom of four kids, aged 10, 13, 15, and 16. I am fortunate to live in one of the most beautiful little places on earth— Victoria, British Columbia—where I search for sea glass, rock crabs and sea stars at the beach; attend music concerts of talented Canadian artists; make pottery; and eat all the hipster gourmet foods and drinks, especially if they have flowers in them. Portlandia says, “Put a bird on it.” I say, put a flower in it. And I will put that flowery thing in my belly.

I used to be straight-married—you know, the real kind—and I used to be Mormon. (Like, hard-core Mormon: special underwear, no coffee, no alcohol, praying multiple times a day, no swearing, temple attending. I actually thought that chances were good that if I played it safe and didn’t get into an accident or get cancer, I wouldn’t ever die because Jesus would return soon enough and I’d ride an invisible hover board into the sky, up to a planet NASA just hasn’t spotted yet named Kolob, until I get my own planet that I earned through sacrifice and tears. I’m not even exaggerating.) Then, I turned my whole life inside out in one year. It was totally easy, I pulled it off like a boss, and now everything is just fine.

Really, but for a couple of exceptions, I couldn’t be much happier. I try to remember that I’m not unique for having deep sorrows and struggles, and focus instead on how my life is full of passion, joy, support, art, silliness, laughter, dreams, hope, adventure, creation, and salt water. I’ve paid a high price to have the good things I have, so I might as well appreciate them. That said, I always need a project and there’s always room for improvement.

Here’s where I’m coming from with this blog: I’m not interested in contributing to conversations which merely point out problems and then quickly conclude that we just need to “love our bodies” or “be grateful” or “have more acceptance.” I loathe platitudes as life instructions, and I roll my eyes at vague click-bait articles that promise to help, then say nothing new. I’m impatient. I want meaningful answers now because I want a meaningful life now. I want to know the anatomy of how to accomplish these platitudes.

Like a lot of us, I didn’t grow up with much instruction on how to do any of the meaningful things in life, like, oh, co-exist with people, or recover from setbacks. I’ve had to figure it out the hard way. And I think I’m pretty good at explaining, step-by-step, the things I’ve learned, so others can benefit. Whenever I find something I love or experience something great, I have a hungry need to share it with others. I want to bring people into my circle of joy to feel communion and connection, to hear their stories, and to share abundance.

So, this blog is motivated by the pure, earnest need to leave something behind for my kids, and my friends; to make the world a bit better; and to have a place to work out my own goals, and create a community where we can help each other.

If you would also like to make your life exponentially better, learn skills you didn’t think you could learn, change thought patterns you didn’t think you could change, you should subscribe to this blog. Because as a friend said to me recently, “You find the best stuff!” I think you’ll find it to be different from other lifestyle/personal development blogs. I hope that laying out my microanalysis of my own endeavours and struggles, and that through interviewing other people, that you can gain a new understanding that helps you. Or that you can add to an idea, passing along to me maybe the last piece of a puzzle I’m trying to solve.

If it’s not truly useful or doesn’t inspire enjoyment or joy, I won’t publish it.