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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

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Things I Want to Do Before I'm Dead/Crazy

  • 1. Learn to play the freakin' guitar already.

    2. Taste black truffles.

    3. Meet Oprah and thank her.

    4. Go white water rafting again. Maybe a girlfriend getaway.

    5. Visit New York City for two weeks.

    6. Build a self-sustaining healthy house on a plot of land large enough to have a big, gorgeous dog that never poops close to home, some sheep, a big garden, and fruit trees but close enough to other people that if someone came to murder us, there would be people to hear the gunshots.

    7. Publish a work of mostly fiction. Change the names and details of people I know such that they really have no idea I'm writing about them, the fools.

    8. Go to art school.

    9. Own a log cabin on a lake where you're allowed to shoot people if they seadoo. Because that's two sports in one: Cottaging and Target Practice.

    10. Compost with worms.

    11. Finish knitting Montana's baby blanket.

    12. Travel Europe and Russia with Jude.

    13. Throw a neighborhood carnival block party, raising money for a family in need or other worthy cause.

    14. Somehow make international adoption easier. Get airlines to give free airfare to people who are picking up their international adoptive children.

    15. Learn pottery.

    16. See May Erlewine play live.

    17. Visit Art Institute of Chicago.

    18. Learn to really sing.

    19. Go scuba diving somewhere really colourful and take photos. And live to develop them.

    20. Go horseback riding again.

    21. Make pesto from scratch.

    22. Make a stuffed salmon encased in pastry that's cut to look like a salmon.

    23. Learn to really, properly swim.

    24. Have an all-girlfriend canoeing-camping trip with someone who can play guitar. Woman with the longest leg hair the next day doesn't have to paddle back.

    25. Memorize all the best Scrabble words and tactics.

    26. Send my boy on a mission abroad and have him come home a man, in one piece.

    27. Lead some kind of teen counseling sessions-- maybe for sexually abused girls?

    28. Develop all my online photos with journaling comments before I abandon Facebook.

    29. Live in Venice, Italy for a few months.

    30. Grow peonies.

    31. Learn to can my own fruits and veggies and then actually do it.

    32. Visit Vancouver.

    33. Visit the Salt Lake Temple.

    34. Roll down grassy green hills in Ireland.

    35. Catch some fireflies again. Then let them go.

    36. Catch some frogs. Then let them go.

    37. Get my braces off. Celebrate by rubbing bread and carrots and salmon all over my teeth and then making out with Jude.

    38. Get into really fantastic shape. Feel strong and healthy.

    39. Become buddies with Jennifer Garner and Gwyneth Paltrow. We would totally mesh.

    40. Replace my husband's suits.

    41. Write a song and sing it/play it for Jude.

    42. Be in the chorus of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.

    43. Finish reading War and Peace by Tolstoy.

    44. Read The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens.

    45. Start rollerblading.

    46. See a ghost or an angel. Anyone from another realm will do.

    47. See Prairie Home Companion live.

    48. See Jack Johnson play from the front row someplace intimate.

    49. See Cathy achieve her dreams, however that happens.

    50. Be so rich that I can give away money and help all the time to people who need it.

    51. Buy a much nicer camera.

    52. See Les Miserables live.

    53. Learn Photoshop.

    54. Get this house finished.

    55. Enjoy grass and tree ownership again.

    56. Visit the Great Wall of China and leave my name on it somewhere.

    57. Become fluent in French.

    58. Learn basic Italian.

    59. Become fluent in sign language.

    60. Become a pretty good chess player.

    61. Memorize more jokes.

    62. Remember history studied and study more.

    63. Become more charitable in my heart.

    64. Have an Etsy store.

    65. Visit London, bump into Jude Law and have him quickly fall in love with me then turn him away because I'm married and Mormon enough to care that I'm married, which will only make him love me all the more, of course.

    66. Design my own house blueprints.

    67. Teach Daisy to read and watch her silently devour books.

    68. Be in a musical/play with Daisy.

    69. Take a hot air balloon ride only for a mile and only about 100 feet in the air because that's just crazy to risk your life like that.

    70. Never visit Disneyland or Disneyworld. Ha!

    71. Make healthy cookies I actually love. For my grandkids.

    72. Learn how to break dance. Or at least do that move where you support your body just on your hands tucked under your belly? That move.

    73. Hold a hand stand for at least five seconds.

    74. Do a back flip. With a belt on. Tied to the ceiling.

    75. Hear James Taylor play live.

    76. Become friends with Rosie O'Donnell.

    77. Be able to roll in a kayak.

    78. Adopt some older children when my kids are older or be a foster parent.

    79. Have some of my poetry published. Under a different name.

    80. Have a butler's pantry right off my kitchen and have it extremely organized at all times.

    81. Raise my children to be nonjudgmental, kind, good, humble, open-minded but critical thinkers. And happy.

    82. Teach Lulu to read.

    83. Swim in an Italian grotto.

    84. Host a dinner under a large canopy-like tree, with candle lanterns.

    85. Be able to do one pull-up.

    86. Find casual jeans that I love that don't get all stretched out after five minutes, don't gap at the waist, aren't 34" inseam, and don't have too-high pockets.

    87. See my sister happy and well-off in B.C. 88. Meet my all of my virtual friends. (Have now met almost all.)

    89. Teach my girls hand clapping games.

    90. Sleep in a hammock in Hawaii with mellow island beat music playing and with the waves splashing in the background.

    91. Go seashell hunting near the Bay of Fundy.

    92. Take a cottage vacation alone where I can read, and paint, and write and sleep for 13 hours straight.

    93. Be mortgage and debt-free.

    94. Get Lasik eye surgery.

    95. Hire a housecleaner and have her over twice a week FOREVER.

    96. Since my house will be so clean: Have fresh flowers year-round.

    97. Learn to juggle.

    98. Join Toastmasters.

    99. Learn to cook Indian.

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