How to touch God (How to have bliss)

Imagine that you live on a planet where everyone has a skin disease.  For thousands of years people have suffered this disease so that their skin is covered with sore, infected wounds.  Because this has been the situation for everyone for so long, this disease is believed to be normal physiology of the skin, a natural maturity of the skin.  The people on your planet are actually born with healthy skin and this morphing into diseased skin doesn't take place until age 3 or 4.

Of course, people hardly touch each other because it's too painful.  They protect their skin and if someone accidentally touches one person's skin, s/he instantly reacts in anger from the pain, and touches the other person back.  Though a lot of pain is involved, people still have relationships with each other, still reproduce their kind, because the instinct to love is so powerful.

If someone from say, Narnia, came to our planet, they would find this same dynamic except that instead of physical wounds, we harbour emotional wounds.  And the manifestation of this disease is anger, hate, sadness, envy, hypocrisy, jealousy, revenge, dishonesty, insecurity.

This is not my analogy.  It comes from The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. 

It serves as a very vivid, memorable reminder for me of what I'm dealing with, with the people around me (and, of course, myself).

This mental disease is so pervasive that we call it normal.  But it's NOT.

I adamantly believe to the point where I can say I KNOW that it's possible to overcome this disease and not let it stop us from loving each other.  I know this as much as I know anything in my life.

I know that what we think of others may not be true.

I know that people judge each other and analyse each other so they can decide upon their own ranking, because they don't see themselves as lovable enough just for being children of God.

I know that we have power over our thoughts; we can change them.

I know that what we think about ourselves, we become.

I know that we can become anything, with enough time and belief.

The Mastery of Love says,

"Humans live in continuous fear of being hurt, and this creates a big drama wherever we go.  The way humans relate to each other is so emotionally painful that for no apparent reason we get angry, jealous, envious, sad.  To even say "I love you" can be frightening.  But even if it's painful and fearful to have an emotional interaction, still we keep going, we enter into [relationships]...."

I used to live in a lot of fear and it made relationships excruciating.  Every single one of my relationships was contentious to a degree because I didn't love myself and I was insecure.

So, I know so much of what The Mastery of Love describes.

Check this out:

"If you take your happiness and put it in someone's hands, sooner or later, she is gong to break it.  If you give your happiness to someone else, she can always take it away. Then if happiness can only come from inside of you and the result of your life, you are responsible for your happiness.... It doesn't matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be.

Love has no obligations.  Fear is full of obligations.  In the track of fear, whatever we do is because we have to do it and we expect other people to do something because they have to do it.  We have the obligation and as soon as we have to, we resist it.  The more resistance we have, the more we suffer.  Sooner or later, we try to escape our obligations.  On the other hand, love has no resistance.  Whatever we do is because we want to do it.  It becomes a pleasure;  it's like a game and we have fun with it. 

Love has no expectations.  Fear is full of expectations.  With fear we do things because we expect that we have to, and we expect that others are going to do the same.  That is why fear hurts and love doesn't hurt.  We expect something and if it doesn't happen, we feel hurt-- it isn't fair.   We blame others for not fulfilling our expectations.  When we love, we don't have expectations;  we do it because we want to, and if other people do it or not, it's because they want to or not and it's nothing personal....

Love is unconditional.  Fear is full of conditions.  In the track of fear, I love you if you let me control you, if you are good to me, if you fit into the image I make for you.  I create an image of the way you should be, and because you are not and never will be the image, I judge you because of that, and find you guilty.  Many times I even feel ashamed of you because you are not what I want you to be. If you don't fit that image I create, you embarrass me, you annoy me, I have no patience at all with you.  I am just pretending kindness.  In the track of love, there is no if;  there are no conditions.  I love you for no reason, with no justification.  I love you the way you are and you are free to be the way you are.  We don't have the right to change anyone else, and no one has the right to change us.  If we are going to change, it is because we want to change, because we don't want to suffer any longer."

I could go on and on quoting this book but a few of you already complain that my posts are too long. ;-)

This book has changed my marriage and now I'm working on letting it change my other most important relationships.  When that moment of acceptance and surrender comes-- that moment of peace and pure love, that incredible light bulb moment when you realise that the amount of love you feel for your person is enough to make you happy, even if it's not returned the way you'd like, because to feel unadulterated love is a very happy feeling-- it's the most beautiful thing. 

It's like touching God. 

Daily Gratitudes

1. Though I'm really weak and tired from fighting off a virus, I am so happy. Just because.
2. My children are so cute still.
3. Music that makes me swoon.
4. Being able to help other people with depression.  Even if to just to let them feel less lonely.
5. My EMPower Plus seems to be working very well.  Every week I feel more evenly emotive. 

Comments

[Amanda]

ooh I really liked that! I'll have to read that book.

[Natasha]

Amanda, weren't you arguing with me about that post about taking things personally? That whole philosophy comes from this guy. :-) And other people too but I was referring to my D.M.R. education.

[Steph]

You title made me think "God is so going to need a lot of restraining orders!"

But the post was thoughtful and the picture of you and the kiddo delightful.

[Amanda]

There were some things you said in that post and some of the comments that I disagreed with but I never said I disagreed entirely, I think it was more with how you handled the situation rather than the ideas you presented, somethings struck a chord I just don't remember exactly what it was.

I've been writing about these types of things on my blog lately. Lately I've been in favour of challenging many of my preconceived notions as well as expanding my knowledge of things foreign to my prior thought processes. SO thank you, you can take pride in the fact that you have influenced me.

[Susan]

This is great! I need to get hold of this guy's books.
I am SO glad you feel happy right now, just because.
And I love the photo.
Would like to read your blog more often, but I am finding myself very busy these days.
Love,
Susan

[Rose]

Love it!

[gabriellevalentine]

Well, I'm tired of waiting for this book at the library and I think it's urgent enough (in my relationship) to just go buy!
All of my relationships have started with love and ended with bitterness (fear). It's definitely time for a change. I tend to do good for a while then forget and fall into bad habits again, which I wish were different of me - one of my pet peevs about myself.
Love is an amazing thing. You are so right - unconditional love is the closest we can get to God. I look around me and at pictures of things on the earth and think "how can God NOT exist?! That's way too complex and amazing to not be from God."

[Marianne]

Almost every time I read your blog, you write something that moves me to tears. Thank you for being so uninhibited and real. Thanks for helping me to know I'm not alone.

[Amanda]

I'm not so good at the commenting, because what I want to say is way too long, and I have this inferiority complex which stops me from doing lots of things, I think, she wouldn't want my opinion...we have a lot more in common than you know, A LOT...one of them is this book, I love this book, I have it in my night stand and read it when I need some inspiration...I would really like to one day speak with you, to talk properly. I didn't know I was the only one...and I relate. This is Amanda, from Edmonton, but from Ireland....at last I write and don't lurk!!

[Natasha]

Gabrielle, I'm excited for you to get the book. REALLY excited. I think it's the kind of book that needs frequent reading so that the enlightenment that comes is not fleeting and that it becomes a part of us, changing us permanently.

Marianne, thanks so much for saying that. You must be referring to past posts because this one wasn't really uninhibited, I think. :-) Means a lot to me, what you said.

Amanda, I'm totally interested in your opinion. And some people leave really, really long comments. It's okay. Anyone who doesn't want to read them doesn't, but I read them all and I usually reply to all. One day I may not be able to anymore but I can for now.

[Mander]

I've heard amazing things about Don Miguel Ruiz and will probably buy his books, my Social Work professor was talking about The Four Agreements in regard to codependancy, thought it was interesting and worth checking out. And you really have been an inspiration, I wasn't saying that sarcastically.
-Amanda (the argumentative one) :D

[Marianne]

I guess this post is just the one that made me come out of hiding.

I did shed a couple of tears though. In a public place. Thankfully, it was not busy or that would have been kinda awkward.

[Natasha]

Awww. You should get the book! Man, I wish we could do some kind of online book club about it. We COULD actually....

[heather]

So great!

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=745555606]

I just love this! Here I am stumbling along wading through a bunch of waste and out of nowhere I arrive in this uplifting place! Already I am smiling wider. This post makes me think, oh how on my own I would be! Only one against all of eternity. Yet, with this extra bit of confidence I can confirm that with my Heavenly Father's presence I am another IN eternity. Thank you for this.

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=745555606]

if there is a slight ringing of rhyme...it only happened because i was singing of truths in me.