I don't really know how to explain what happened when I went to see the "voodoo doctor" who's not at all a doctor and who doesn't practice voodoo. Mainly because I don't understand it and he barely explained it. Something to do with frequencies. Everyone and everything emits a frequency, whatever that is. I believe that everything was created spiritually before it was created on earth. Do spirits, even the spirits of THINGS emit a kind of frequency that can be picked up on? I don't know enough about this to have an opinion either way.
All I know is that I went into this guy's office exhausted, tired (two different things), and hopeless. I had spent some of the morning sobbing on the phone to my friend Pam because she phoned while I was trying to nap and said something that set me off.
Mr. Voodoo had a machine that somehow, apparently, picked up my frequency. He ran a bunch of cards across a part of the machine and the cards had things printed on them like Cancer, Jealousy, Asthma, etc. I don't know what happened from there, if the machine read out a reading or if he was intuiting something.... Normally I would want to know how everything is done but we only had an hour and I kinda didn't care a lot and was skeptical anyway.
He started to rack up a pile of cards for me of things that are wrong with me:
- Bipolar Depression-- he said I was 75% suicidal, whatever that means.
- Hypothyroid
- Adrenal problem
- Arthritis of the neck
- Headache-- I don't get headaches much but then again, I've been told by chiropractors that I have a high tolerance for pain so I might not be feeling the headaches. I do live with neck pain and back pain every day but I don't think about it. I'm used to it.
- Iron deficiency
- Nerve damage
- Magnesium, potassium and sodium deficiency
- Chronic fatigue
- Sleeping disorder
- Problem with my pelvis and hips-- it's true. One side is higher than the other.
- Pineal gland problem
- Memory problems
- Switched polarity-- no idea what this is. Something about the electrical circuit in my body. ??
- Trouble controlling my mind
- Anger-- my friend Louise will like this one because when I was visiting her in Wales she told me I have anger issues. After giving it a few moments' thought I said that I don't get "angry" often. I had a certain picture in my mind of what anger looks like. She said it can show up in a lot of different ways. She's totally right.
- Loss of a loved one-- I cried when he said this. Was taken aback. I have lost friends who meant a lot to me.
- Fear
So, I don't understand how he came to all these issues. Some he could have got from my form I filled out. Some I never mentioned. The iron deficiency was one he came to early on and I never mentioned anything about that. Blood tests have shown that my iron and hemoglobin levels are so low, I'm two "points" away from being anemic. Some things could have been reasonable guesses. Most people have lost a loved one in some way or another. Most people are angry at someone or about something. Most people are afraid of something.
Then he had me lay on my back on a table and he set some weird mini radio tower-type things on either side of my head. He said he would readjust me to the proper frequency and that I wouldn't feel anything except tired when it was done and that my depression would be all gone. I was very skeptical. I did not think my depression would ever go away.
So, he told me I wouldn't feel anything but I started to feel really tingly in my legs. My right calf even started to hurt a bit. I could feel the tingling moving up and when I told him this, he was very surprised.
"You can feel it?"
"Yes."
"It's very rare for someone to feel something. Do you feel frequencies from other things?"
"I can tell when someone is turning the tv on and off even with my ears plugged and my eyes closed. I can just feel it. It's hard to explain what it is I'm feeling, though."
"So, you can hear it too? Some people can hear it."
"Oh, yes. It's very high pitched." I also find our downstairs computer monitor intolerable because of the high-pitched frequency it emits.
So, he would hover his hand over my body, make a sweeping motion and then stop where the progress of this whatever-it-was had stopped and each time he did that, he stopped at the point of my body where the tingling had stopped, without me saying anything. At one point my right elbow was very tingly and my chest. When he moved his hand over me, he stopped exactly at the right point where my chest and elbow were feeling something. The rest of my lower body felt very, very heavy.
So, something happened and he could feel it with his hands where most people wouldn't and I could feel it with my body where most people can't. I don't understand it but Jude was there to witness it and it happened, whatever "it" was.
And when it was all done, I felt tired, relaxed and... fine. I wasn't exuberantly happy but then again, I had no reason to be, and I was tired. I wasn't sad. I wasn't hopeless or scared. I left feeling normal. And while I was driving to the grocery store to pick up some things for Josie's baptism, I noticed that I was singing to my Up Tunes on my iPod. The previous few days I had been unable to muster up any care, any desire to sing along or to have my mood lifted from this music. But here I was back to normal, singing along to Kiss Me Thru the Phone-- a song that always makes me very happy but in the previous few days it was only obnoxious.
So, that happened on Friday and it's now Sunday and I'm okay. I'm not ecstatic but that's okay because I have no reason to be. I'm tired and that gets me a bit down but I'm always tired.
I don't know what to make of my appointment. I'll probably go back to him with questions and demand more information.
Point is that some of you can stop worrying. It's a brand new day. Until next time....
Daily Gratitudes
- Josie's baptism is over and it was lovely.
- My bishop is really cool.
- I painted a mural-type thing on my daughters' bedroom wall. I'd been meaning to get around to it for months and I did it while listening to the General Relief Society broadcast on lds.org. It's just really simple.
- The weather has grown cooler. None of this hot death stuff.
- Jude gave me a priesthood blessing recently that has given me hope that I will (maybe soon?) look and feel the way I want to. In fact, those were the words he said. My hair will start growing back and my worst fears will not come to pass. I think I'm ready to go back to my black hair and just deal with the hair loss via make up or something until it grows back. I'm completely committed to taking care of my body and I'm trying to not be resentful that I'm so unhealthy for someone who actually doesn't do too bad a job of taking care of herself. My body feels so sensitive and fragile. I feel so old. But I'm committed. And it will get better.
