Scrapbooking: It's all Satan's fault

I am Mormon and a mother and 29 and I don't scrapbook. This is apparently remarkable. You know  scrapbooking has taken over a segment of society when the word becomes a VERB.

I used to scrapbook. Sort of. I have an album I made for Montana when he was a baby because a woman at church bought me a kit as my baby present and of course I was a new mom of a baby so I had nothing to do. It's hideous. An embarrassment to die cuts, paper, and stickers everywhere. That's all that existed back then, really. There were no cool eyelets and clothing tags and human bones in the shape of hearts. What's that? There are still no human bones in the shape of hearts, you say? Wait a month. Provo Craft is working on it.

My first and main gripe with scrapbooking is that it's got out of hand. When a woman shows her scrapbook to another woman, she does so in the hopes that her scrapbooking skills will be lauded. The photos are secondary. "Oooh, I like what you did here!" "Where did you get the clothing from genuine African refugees that were fashioned into pleated photo frames?!" Who would even notice the photos after layers and layers of decoration? And don't pretend that you didn't take that photo just because it went with your stickers.

My second gripe with scrapbooking is that it's indulgent. Costly. I bet that some women spend thousands a year on scrapbooking. And they'll say that it's a good cause because "it's journaling!" So is blogging, and it's free. I predict that in the next five years, people will be able to buy insurance for their scrapbooks. You could travel for that same amount of money!

My third gripe is that I could learn a new language or teach my dog to cha-cha in the time I could spend scrapbooking. Think of all the time you scrapbookers could spend doing something really important, like blogging.  And what kind of mother would I be if, when I die, I didn't leave my children a disorganised photo mess both on and offline to help distract them from their grief?

My fourth gripe is that it's freakin' messy. Entire rooms are devoted to scrapbooking. They're often called "craft rooms" but it's all scrapbooking stuff spread out everywhere. And that's if families are lucky. Some families have to pick paper corner snips out of their dinner and pretend that the glitter in their hair that somehow found its way into the basement bathroom is deliberate accessorising.

You will not be able to take your scrapbook with you when you die, nor will your kids. Sure, you're leaving it for your great-grandkids, who, by then, will have all photos and information uploaded to the Facebook chip that's burrowed in their brains, except that you're not really going to have great-grandkids because everyone knows that the Savior is coming soon. Okay, then there's the Millenium. But after those 1000 years, the scrapbooks are defunct. You'll have to rely on your perfect, resurrected memories.

And that's what I'm waiting for. Who says I'm impatient? 

[All photos stolen from a Google Image search which I will keep up until the unlikely event occurs that the owners of the photos ask me to take them down because I didn't ask for permission to use them because what was I going to say-- "Can I use this photo in a blog post that mocks scrapbooking? NO? Why not?"?]

Daily Gratitudes

1. Mike cared enough to leave a nice comment, even though I make him shake his head and roll his eyes and he's sooooo glad that we're not related in any way. ;-) Said comment made my day. Or my next couple of hours. We'll see. The day still looms.
2. Another sunny day.
3. I'm still not depressed again.
4. I have these iPod earbuds that look so trashed. The wires are exposed at the bottom, where it plugs in to the unit and the sheathing is snipped further up along the cord and the rubber that goes around the buds is off... but they still work fine. Maybe not for long, but these are the GOOD earbuds because our other ones only have one working side since I dropped the other side in the bath. Interestingly, if you drop one in maple syrup, while eating Sunday breakfast in bed, just lick it off and you'll be fine.
5. Electricity.

Comments

[ChristinaS]

I am in a love/hate relationship with scrapbooking. I love to make the fancy albums but hate it for all the above mentioned reasons pretty much. And also, I'm loathe to spend hours at it. If you just hate scrapbooking period that's fair but if you are like me you might want to investigate digital scrapbooking. It may resolve all gripes.

Check out www.scrapbookflair.com. They have a basic software package you can download for free and have several free kits to download. I'm also a big fan of all the free kits at www.shabbyprincess.com. Free kits elimnate costs, digital eliminates the mess AND greatly reduces the time spent making pages.....an added bonus is once you've completed a page, you can print as many copies as you want. I haven't produced many scrapbooks yet (mostly because I'm' not THAT in love with scrapbooking) but I do use it to make other items.

For example, I made thank you notes for the girls I work with by taking pictures of the baby in the outfits they bought and scrapbooked it together with some text. It took me all of a half hour to create the thing and then email it off to Walmart for printing (at 19 cents per print). Then I just wrote a personal note on the back of the photo and handed them out. They thought it was brilliant :D I also made my own birth announcements for the baby and homemade birthday invitations for Lili's last birthday. Took me less time to make them than it would to drive to the store and buy them.

Just throwing it out there for your consideration. :)

[Natasha]

I was going to say that digital scrapbooking with companies like Picaboo is a great compromise. I've made three albums with them.

[LaurieBee]

I'm laughing soooo hard! My sentiments exactly! As far as "homemade" cards are concerned, I'm really ticked off! I've made my own Christmas cards for years, and my children participated in that process always. The last couple of years I feel awful sending out my real "homemade" cards because everyone else sends out these cutsie expensive things they make with scrapbooking materials. Alas, this year I'm going to buy my Christmas cards -- or maybe I just won't send any at all.

[Natasha]

I stopped sending cards to most people. I wrote a Christmas letter instead. Did you see? http://www.becomingsomething.com/2008/12/awesome-christmas-letter.html

[JulesD]

YES!!!

Yes... it takes away from the photos. And, me, of all people, has the right to take issue with that.

Yes... it's become a competition about the pages and not about the photos and stories they tell.

I get invited to scapbook parties all the time by my clients who think I'll be really into that because of my job. I never go.

As for online digital scrapbooking... it is better, less distracting usually -- at least the pages aren't 3D. but I love a good basic layout with few frills. A word every few pages... a thin cooured line around a photo. Simplicity is my favourite and often, simplicity goes out the window when you have so many darn cool stickers, buttons, gizmos etc to add, either digitally or otherwise.

I have never made a true scrapbook, and never will!

[Natasha]

I made one for Josie's fiesta party. And Montana's medieval birthday. But  some photos should be on white or black and that's it. Martha Stewart does a good scrapbook.

[Stephanie]

I scrapbooked once. I found it to be a waste of time and money. Just like cleaning actually ;-) Well maybe I just say that because I really sucked at it.

[Natasha]

I'm actually really great at it. But I still don't like it. Be like me, Steph. :-)

[ChristinaS]

I don't do Christmas cards either....Smilebox! Also free, and faster than buying them. ;)

[LaurieBee]

Okay, your Christmas letter is hysterical! Thanks for that laugh!

[JJ]

You know this could be applied to MANY things. Sewing, quilting, writing, painting, knitting, and the list goes on and on. NONE of those things are going to be around forever, but NO ONE is making fun of people who enjoy those other creative things. Each of those can be equally as expensive OR MORE! That is all scrap booking is you know, a HOBBY. Something people enjoy doing.

I scrapbook, and I love it! My 7 year old has FIVE full books already, and SO WHAT! She likes looking at them, I enjoyed making them.

[Natasha]

It COULD apply to anything. I'm only teasing. Which should have come through when I poked fun at myself saying that they could be doing something more important like blogging. Get it?

[JJ]

No, I didn't get it. It is not the first time you have said something like this about scrap booking specifically, so I figured this time you REALLY meant it.

[Natasha]

My exaggeration and sarcasm and brevity combined with that comment about blogging was all meant to play up on the fact that I was lightly teasing. Yes, I think it's expensive, overdone, messy and time consuming. But yes, so are a lot of things. That's why I was not taking my criticism of it seriously. Just like I really don't like pie, but I wasn't criticising pie seriously in my Pie is Stupid post. I actually enjoy scrapbooking but  not enough.

[liss]

Last year for my Father's 50th birthday I made a scrapbook. It consisted of a binder, black pages, photos (1, 2 or 4 on a page) and writing, in white, stating the date, place and individuals (if known).

Boy, was it a lot of work. Though worth it since I love my Daddy.

[Natasha]

I made one for my in-law's too. It was very pretty and they LOVED it.

[JQ]

My first baby was born to a guy just starting professinal school and a stay-at-home girl with a student loan to repay. They lived on about $11,000 a year (this was 1996, not 1936 so that was a pretty tight budget). Each of them brought a camera to the marriage, neither one of the devices worth more than $20. The baby pictures were awful -- tragic, really. The baby's photo album didn't do much to express the beauty and brilliance of the baby or the love and happiness he enjoyed in he ultra-humble home. If only I could find something to "take away from the pictures" and show the baby and whomever else looked at his pictures how beautiful those days were and how much we loved him even though the pictures are dark and fuzzy and riddled with red-eye. Of course, the answer was scrapbooking. The embellishments re-wrote the baby's history not to obscure what it was really like but to better represent the reality that couldn't be captured with our crude cameras and skills. Things are better now but still, not everyone is a fully equipped star photographer and might what to boost their pics with a little craft-bling.

[Natasha]

Yeeesss... thank you.

[kim]

I am allergic to scrapbooking. It scares me in the same way clowns & creepy doll houses do.

[Gabrielle Valentine]

Hilarious. Though I'm thinking, dare I say it, of one day doing a digital scrapbook type of thing. Don't know when I'd get the time. IF I did any sort of scrapbook, it'd be digital, and definitely not foo-foo.
The inlaws are major scrapbookers. It's a lifestyle. My bridesmaid was a scrapbooker. She was in my wedding cause she was scrapbooky and the wedding was like a project to her and then after the wedding she didn't like me anymore cause I couldn't/wouldn't scrapbook with her.

[Natasha]

That's funny that your wedding was her project and then she had no use for you.

[Azucar]

I can't be bothered.

(Oh, and when I have scrapbooked [verb] a page, because in this day and age it's neigh on impossible to not to have been invited to scrapbook [verb] at some point, I was really good at it, but no. Not for me.)

[Natasha]

That's what it really boils down to for me: it's fun, I'm good at it but I can't be bothered. Although it would be nice if I organised those photos.

[Azucar]

They're in a box, right? Bam. Organized.

[Natasha]

LOL. Very cute.

[Beth]

Dude, let's form a club. I can't stand it either. I have done exactly 2 scrapbooks and will do two more for my kids and then, well not interested. It is crazy expensive, and messy, and junky, and time consuming and blah, blah, blah. Anti-scrapbookers unite!!

[KT]

I'll admit it. I love scrapbooking, but I'm a hoarder, so I've been rather horrified as I calculate the cost of all the items that got flooded when my scrapbooking (I won't even pretend to call it a craft room) room and the rest of downstairs had 5 feet of creek water through it. Scary amount of money.
But, I'm not visual enough to get into all the frou-frou stuff. Bit of coloured paper, few stickers, and I'm happy. Spending hours or a day on a single page, nope, not me. And I'm into writing, so the journalling is very important to me.

What truly brings me joy about the scrapbooks I have done is when my daughter wants to read them, when she wants to look at the photos in them, have the stories read to her, see herself and her family and her loved ones. Warm fuzzy right there.

It also reminds me of when we lived at my grandparent's house for a few years, and our stuff lived in their garage. I knew where Mum's photo albums were stored, and I'd clamber over the sofa, over hte washing machine, and go through that bo every now and then. I'd pore over the albums, Mum & Dad's wedding photos, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and pics of me.

[Miranda]

Ewww... the second coming seriously? It's scrapbooking not satanic worship you weird woman. Blogs like this make Christians sound insane.