I want to address a comment from my friend Katie and one from my friend Susan on Part I of this gay marriage discussion.
I believe I confused you all for a few reasons.
1. I did not plan to write what I did. I didn't sit and edit for hours like a good writer should. It just poured out of me and I didn't have time to edit and edit and analyze the implications of everything I said and didn't say. On such a big issue, that is a really overwhelming task and it's exactly why I took so long to write this.
2. I was focusing on one side of an argument in post I because I wanted to show that Mormons are not necessarily objecting to gay marriage because they are heartless, ignorant beasts; maybe a few are that way but most are not. I knew that my lovely friends would comment in and say how much they agreed with what I was saying, reflecting more of the Mormon heart.
I also wanted my close-minded Mormon friends to see WHY people support gay marriage. One friend told me today that she was black and white on the issue before and after reading things on the internet, including my post, she no longer sees it as black and white.
THE CHURCH doesn't see it as black and white either, at least not in the sense that they think the battle is between good and evil. BECAUSE IT'S SO NOT.
I confused Katie by focusing on the other side of the argument when I was on her Facebook page.
I am perfectly capable of arguing a point so passionately that it seems like it's my point of view, even though if you read carefully, you'll see that I never said I believe all this stuff I'm saying about what other Christians think. I was just trying to explain to her friends why most Mormons and probably other Christians believe as they do.
3. In part I and II, I left out a very important conclusion that I DID come to regarding this whole gay marriage debate. I left it out because as a non-Californian, because the vote is over, because I haven't had a reason to pray about what I would vote, since it's not an option for me, I wanted to focus on bringing understanding and peace towards both sides of this emotional issue.
While I implied this information at the end of Part II, I want you to know this information about me so that you understand more fully who I am:
I believe the prophet of God has more insight into the future than we do. I believe there could be other reasons for the prophet encouraging support of Prop 8. While I hold firm to MY personal ideas relating to gay marriage, and these ideas seem very logical to me, as well as compassionate, I recognize that I don't know everything. But what I do believe so strongly that I dare say I know it, is that the LDS church is the ONE true church on the earth and that the prophet would never lead us astray, because that would be like saying God himself would lead us astray. Thomas S. Monson is a remarkable, EXTREMELY charitable man who did not rally for his position; he obtained it by revelation. He was called of God.
So, if I was called on to vote, I would have to pray about it even though my faith and understanding about the order of things tells me to follow the prophet always. I shouldn't need to pray about it but I would because of everything I said in Part I. In praying about it, if I felt to vote Yes, I would. It would pain me. I would do it without understanding. But when my faith in the prophet's counsel trembles, more follows with it.
And while a part of me would like to live my life based on all my own ideas of things, while a part of me would love to live my life based on logic because I crave logic, my faith is what gives me breath. (And besides, not everything in life is explainable anyway but must be felt.) My so-called "bigoted" faith is what has made me compassionate and, for the most part, non-judgmental.
And I am adamant that NO ONE'S happiness is dependant upon my blessing. Gay people might find it harder to be happy without California's vote but they can still be happy. If Victor Frankl could find happiness in a concentration camp, if poverty stricken people can find happiness in India, then gay people can be happy without that piece of paper. At least happy enough that they don't have to encourage violence and hatred from people who will never agree with them no matter what they do. Watch that Esther Hicks video in Part II.
Like I said in Part II: We have to agree to disagree.
Katie left me a link in her comments to SigningForSomething.com, which mocks Gordon B. Hinckley's book title Standing For Something. I finally got around to checking out the website and I don't believe it's run by active Mormons. These Mormons are fighting against the church and would likely have their temple recommends revoked. So, this website is NOT an honest reflection of Mormons. I think Katie was pleased to see it and impressed, but I don't want respect for my religion based on a fringe group. You don't just resign from the church over something like this. To resign from the church is the most serious thing you could do. It means asking your name to be taken off the records. It means revoking every covenant you've ever made: Baptism and temple. It means saying to the Lord, "Take my name off your record, I don't want to be with you."
You don't go from being a strong active member of the church to having your testimony completely fall apart over this one issue so much so that you no longer believe in any of it and want your name off the record. You just don't.
I believe this site is a sneaky way of subverting Mormon faith.
I'm closing the comments here because I want to move on from this. I don't mind people discussing the issue amongst themselves in the comments area of posts I and II. But I don't want to be grilled regarding my faith. If it would do any good, I'd offer myself up to you: my heart, my mind, my time. But it won't do any good. The only way to understand is to walk in my shoes and the only way to do that is to be so inspired and the only way to be so inspired is to PRAY about it, not discuss or debate.
Plus, I've always wanted to say "I'm closing comments" because:
1. It suggests a certain amount of confidence that I will get comments, which must mean I have enough readers and that is pretty cool.
2. I'm a control freak and it just feels so goooooooooooood.
xo,
N.
