I know what you're thinking. You're thinking Paul was interested in me for one reason only and that I was way too young to be dating someone five years older than me. You're thinking that I was only drawn to him because of that red Miata he drove. You're thinking he was too brooding for my own good and he should have stayed on the Prozac. You'd be right about that latter point.
Paul and I met because our lockers were next to each other. We hit it off when we realized we both were reading Fit For Life by Marilyn and Harvey Diamond, transitioning into vegans. We didn't consume any candy, chocolate, preservatives, pop, chips, coffee, alcohol, etc. We were both very new-agey and read a ton of self-help books. We didn't party, we didn't watch tv, we were great students and we just wanted to get out of this little town and live normal, happy lives. We really thought we were going to marry and have kids together.
So, Paul and I left for Sackville, sure we were going to love it. We had towels, pots, pans, as much as we could carry and thankfully, we thought to include a tent and sleep. We pitched our tent right on the track field of the university campus. Paul's first mission of the morning was to enroll so it seemed a convenient location. When we woke up in the morning with people running around us, we just a wee bit embarrassed.
Over the next couple of days we could not find a place to live in that tiny town. I couldn't live in a dorm room with Paul and any available room was just that-- one room in someone's house. No matter where we lived, I'd have a long walk to the high school, which included crossing the highway because there was no town bus. The library was always closed. Everything shut down at an early hour. We just kept saying how weird it all was. We didn't feel comfortable there.
We ended up camping at a KOA for a couple of nights, the last of which poured rain onto and into our tent. Our towels, everything was soaked.
We headed to Halifax to scope out Dalhousie University. Before we left, we stopped at a shop because it had maple butter in the window. Since maple syrup is a natural product, we were excited to have a treat in which we could indulge. (For those unaware, maple butter is maple syrup cooked to a consistency of peanut butter. When I get to the Celestial Kingdom, one of my first questions will be "Is there maple butter here and can I eat it six times a day because we don't get diabetes here, right?" If no maple there, I'll ask to be downgraded.)
Walking into the store I saw Kimberly from Diff'rent Strokes. I realize she's was never a big celebrity but still, I was a bit star struck. I'd never before run into anyone I had watched on tv. We found out after, somehow, that she was in town doing a play. (Mount Allison is an arts university-- is there anything better??!) A few years later, I found out that she died of a drug overdose. She had been suicidal for years. This made me especially sad because of the strong connection we had when I waited in line behind her. I knew she was nervous to say hi to me, too. But I know that somewhere out there, she remembers me and laments the friendship we never formed.
We reached the bus station just in time to board a greyhound to Halifax. Our wet crap was barely stuffed into the under storage compartment. When we got on board, we realized why: THERE WERE NO AVAILABLE SEATS. And we were carrying stuff on board, too. How can they do that?? When you pay for bus fare, are you just paying for transportation from one location to another, however that may occur-- standing room only, bathroom seating, strapped to the roof...?
Everyone was staring at us. The bus was already moving. What were we supposed to do with our bags and ourselves? After a full, long, painful minute, a very large woman who sat at that back seat with two children placed one child on her lap, made the other one squish over and I sat between her and... the restroom. Can it even be called that? The in-house out-house.
And it was on the bus that I had my lunch. It was there, between the very large woman and the very foul human by-products that I made a very bad decision which I came to regret later.
Because we were such health freaks our lunch was carrot and celery sticks dipped in maple butter and flax seeds... by the spoonful. We just used a spoon and shoveled it in and chewed. Oh, that Omega-3! So tasty.
We made it to Halifax and found a storage facility where we could store our wet everything, taking the bare essentials to Dalhousie.
Suddenly, I felt very sick and I had no idea why. I kept thinking about the inconvenient timing of all this.
We tried a bunch of different places but for some reason, we could not find a restroom. Our city bus ride to Dalhousie was coming and we just had to catch it before we missed it. We had to get to one of the Dalhousie hall's dorms before they closed.
The bus came. I could not sit down. But then I couldn't stand up. So, I'd try to find more comfort in sitting down but then OH! I couldn't do that. Definitely not that. The entire world was extremely insignificant to me in that moment because I could think only about one thing. We could have hit another bus at high speed, flipped over a bridge and I would have been less concerned that my face was split open than the soiling of my pants the accident caused. It was the most achievement I've ever made with meditation but unfortunately, was not transcendental . Short from giving birth, I've never been more in-the-moment.
We finally made it to the dorm and when we arrived at our room, there was NO BATHROOM. Only a sink and a mirror. Leaving the room and peering down the hall, I found where they kept the toilets: in a community rest room. Like, at a restaurant except with flimsier doors. It was more like a prison or an elementary school than a place that should be nurturing the blooming, homesick, adult student.
Let me just say that there is no dignity to eating a cupful of flax seeds and then using a public restroom for a significant period of time while surrounded by young college girls. It was horrible. Horrrrible.
WHY had no one ever told me that flax was a laxative?! I guess because my family had never heard of them. After all, flax can't be smoked. To this day, I don't like Halifax. I've somehow been able to transfer all the blame to Halifax.
I no longer chew flax seeds but with enough therapy I've been able to bring myself eat bread with flax seeds. I even buy ground flax seeds and sprinkle them in my oatmeal... with maple syrup.
I occasionally eat chips. I LOVE a good juicy grilled burger... with bacon, real slightly melted cheddar, blue cheese, sauteed mushrooms, tomato, pickles, lettuce, barbeque sauce, mustard, mayo. I eat McDonald's and pizza and seafood. I prefer seafood that's been tortured for the sake of makeup experiments before it arrives on my plate. Also, if some dolphins were killed in the process of catching it, it's all the more tasty.
We never did move to Halifax. We took the bus to Toronto with our now rank, mouldy towels and clothes then to Stratford, and after considering heading out to Vancouver, we settled on Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario-- far enough from our families but close enough to occasionally visit... and then wonder what the heck we were thinking.
I phoned his brother about 4 years ago to get Paul's number to see what he was up to. Found out from his brother that he was married and ate dairy. That was all I really needed to know. Good for you, Paul. Good for you.
